Cara has been on my mind a lot lately. She has taken the ACT for the third time and will be applying for college in the next couple of months. Matt took her senior portraits a few days ago. I think he was a little offended that I didn't love the serious picture of her. Maybe it's because I know that in a year, the picture will be all I have. She will be gone at school, and I will just have a picture to look at. I want her to be smiling and happy, just like she is at home.
Cara has truly been a joy at home. She helps keep the peace. She runs to Walgreen's late at night for me to buy more pull ups for her younger siblings. She is so loving to Leah. It is sad to me that Leah will grow up not remembering Cara in the house with her.
I'm not saying Cara doesn't have her faults. There are some things I won't miss. Like hair in the drain and her refusing to touch raw meat to help out with meal prep. I guess I just never understood why mothers freak out when their children head off to college. But now as I am contemplating Cara heading off to college, I am freaking out a bit.
Not because she is leaving, I loved college and want her to have that experience, but because it represents a new relationship. Her leaving home means she won't always need me around. She will do her own laundry and cook her own meals (hopefully). She will make her own decisions and her own mistakes. I won't pack her a lunch or stay up watching Downton Abby with her. In a few years, she will be taking on the role that I took on 18 years ago. Marrying and forming a new family. I am grateful for the decisions she has made to get her here, just a little sad that Cara is not my little girl anymore.
1 comment:
They do grow up and it is hard. They do what you have taught them and hoped for all their growing up years and then go out on their own. Happy and sad at the same time. So grateful she is such a great kid. Yes you'll miss her.
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