Why all Mothers are Slightly Insane

Okay, so maybe I have five reasons for insanity, but let's just be honest and realize that only one of those reasons really puts me over the edge.

This is Max. Yes, he is adorable. He is perfectly behaved in preschool and daycare. And then he comes home. A few conversations I've had with Max in the last month leave me wondering what is always going through his mind.

I told Max, while in the car, "Don't pull your seatbelt out. If we crash, you will fly out of the car and die." To which Max replied, "It doesn't matter if I die." My response, "But I would be sad." Then Max immediately jumped to the prospect of my death, "It doesn't matter if me or you get killed." So I said, "Then who would take care of everyone." Max thought for a moment. With my demise, he was immediately alive, and liberated, "I would be fine. I would just watch however much tv I want. And I would play wii all day." I asked, "What about feeding you?" He replied, "I could get my own cereal." I could not argue back. My whole purpose in life is to pour Max a bowl of Honeynut Cheerios and tell him when he's had enough tv and wii. Honestly, he probably could take care of himself.

Another death conversation. Yesterday, he said to me, "Mom, would you rather have George or Ellie (a cousin) be killed." I said, "Neither." He said, "It's not real. Just pick one." I said, "I don't want either of them to die." He said that he would pick George, "wait, No, Ellie. Because then when I'm trying to play with Hayden, she wouldn't try to play with us." 

I love his logic. He has absolutely no fear of death ever since a recent primary lesson on the resurrection. Because as he pointed out, "It doesn't matter if you die. You just come back alive in like, three days, I think."

Max has a list of favorites that he is always telling us about. I am number one. Maddie is number two. George is three. Dad is four. Cara is five. And Sam is six. But as he has pointed out many times, we are all about to be bumped. "As soon as the baby comes out, she's first and everyone else bumps down."

This morning he asked me if he had preschool. I said, "Yes." "Uhh, I hate preschool." To which I replied, "Max, you love preschool. You always do fun things in there. Yesterday you went on a treasure hunt." Max replied, "Yes, but it wasn't a real treasure. I thought we would find gold. All we found was dumby licorice. It wasn't even a real treasure hunt."

Our new baby will be here within a week. Wish us luck. Max has informed me that he will help by, "Holding the baby... without any help."