Halloween

Okay, I won't lie, I'm not a holiday mother. It's not that I don't like the holidays, I just don't gear up for them like most mothers. I am constantly reminded of my failures during my jaunts around town. My children like to point out all the decorations on the neighbors' homes and then ask why we don't do that.

I love Christmas (who doesn't enjoy buying presents for loved ones). Thanksgiving is probably my favorite. I love baking and feasting and enjoying a holiday that doesn't slam me with commercials. I like Valentine's Day because I've pointed out to Steve that it is a man's holiday so he better not screw up. I love the 4th of July (red, white and blue toenails are the best).

I just can't and have never gotten into Halloween. First of all, you have to dress up. For someone who is creatively challenged, this is indeed a chore. Second, you have to walk door to door to get candy. Wouldn't it be easier to buy it at the store? Then there are plenty of other things to deal with: frightened toddlers, pumpkin smashers, parades, carving pumpkins, and decor.

Times all that by five. Yes, a little stressful.

Let me tell you how the season started. It was the middle of October. I still had not gotten the decorations up. The kids were pestering me. I said, "You guys do it." Immediately they ran into the basement and retrieved the decorations. They decorated.

Then comes the matter of costumes. The little boys have it made. Because I've had five kids, they have plenty of costumes to choose from. Of course, George and Max both wanted to be the panda bear. Plenty of fighting and crying over that one. Then comes the bigger problem, what will the bigger children be. In the past, I have called my sister, Tammy to my rescue. But she has sent me everything she has. So I told the kids to go downstairs to find something. Maddie claimed the m&m. Sam and Cara had no idea. Luckily, Cara got help from her Aunt Ella. She had an outfit from China. Sam did not know what he was going to be until October 30th. He showed me a list of about 30 different things he could be, provided I had boxes and time to help him make a costume. It was 9:00 at night. I told him to be Robinhood (about a size 7 costume, Sam wears a 14) and we would get creative next year. Luckily, Sam never complains and he wore a Robinhood hat and shirt.


And what about carving pumpkins? You'd think I know how, but Steve is the art guy in our family. He was out-of-town. I never realized how hard it was to get the pumpkin guts out of the pumpkin. That is normally Steve's job. It took me an hour to get the kids to the point where we could actually carve. I had to call Steve and tell him that night that I appreciated his carving talents. Next year, I will make sure he is here when we open the pumpkins.


Okay, so costumes and jack-o-lanterns are taken care of, now the actual day. We woke up and Max announced to me that it was Halloween. "So, let's go Halloween, Mom." He had on his pajamas. I explained to him that he couldn't go trick-or-treating until after dinner. He responded, "I don't want dinner." He got his wish, we never had time for dinner, he ate candy.


I had to go to the parade at the elementary school. Is there a point to this? Dress the kids up so their teachers cannot possibly help them focus for one whole day. Make all the parents come to the cafeteria, sit and watch while their children parade by. I helped them get their costumes on before school. I've already seen what they look like. But if I don't show, I get the bad parent award. So I went with Max. We watched the kids and as soon as I saw the last one, I ran Max to the car so I could go to the gym and get my workout in.


I will say this, one plus to Halloween is that the gym was empty!


The kids got home and I told them they had to do chores and piano before they went trick-or-treating. Apparently, Maddie thought I wouldn't really make her and she ended up crying as trick-or-treaters were knocking at the door while she was pounding away on the piano. Finally, they went out, collected their goods, came back and spread wrappers all over the house, and discarded their costumes on the floor. Max even threw up because of all the junk he ate. What a lovely day! Now I get to move on the the real holidays. Don't worry, I still don't decorate, I'll let the kids do that.